Love Your Wife Her Way

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We know women are more emotional and sensitive than men. Husbands may think and feel they love their wives and meet their needs. But they often don’t understand women have different needs and viewpoints than themselves. One man was enthusiastic about a pool table he bought his wife for Christmas. He saw it as a way they could get exercise and be intimate together. Not surprising, his wife didn’t share his enthusiasm or view his gift his way. Counselors know that in troubled marriages insensitive husbands are more likely to be the problem

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The Bible tells husbands to honor their wives but doesn’t describe all the ways to do it (1 Peter 3:7). Outstanding marriage counselor of several decades, Dr. Gary Smalley, has helped unite broken marriages. All his books give super good advice I highly recommend. His book The Joy of Committed Love lists 100 ways for husbands to show wives love, understanding and honor their way. I’ve chosen 25 of them written in a different order and slightly modified form. Husbands choose two or three to practice each month and see your marriage blossom.

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1.  Regard your wife as more important than you are and see her blossom.

2.  Ask her opinion frequently and show appreciation. Wives’ intuition has prevented              husbands from making serious and costly mistakes.

3.  Give loving hugs when she’s down emotionally without lectures or put-downs.

4.  Take an interest in what she feels important in life—she has a right to her interests and       needs to share them with you.

5.  Look for things about her you can genuinely compliment.

6.  Allow her to buy things she considers necessary.

7.  Be forgiving when she offends you. We’re none perfect but Jesus.

8.  Admit your mistakes. Be honest, humble, and sensitive and she will respect you more.

9.  Lead your family in prayer, worship, Bible study and spiritual things.

10.  Do something special for her on her birthday and your wedding anniversary.

11.  Do things together the whole family enjoys—fun times with family is crucial.

12.  Hold hands when sitting or walking together--it makes her feel secure.

13.  Write her a note or letter of appreciation occasionally.

14.  Discipline your children in love not anger—they are part of you.

15.  Never, mention her faults to others—instead brag about her virtues.

16.  Husbands can change annoying habits within 30-60 days of determined effort.

17.  Surprise her occasionally with a card, flowers, candy or some gift you know she enjoys.

18.  Help her with the house cleaning especially if she works out. It’s just being fair.

19.  Learn to enjoy things she enjoys.

20.  Be hospitable and gracious to her relations and friends.

21.  Pray for her well-being and that you will understand and do all you can to promote it.

22.  Help her finish her goals—hobbies or education.

23.  Gently assure her of your love before correcting a serious fault.

24.  Talk is important to women. Listen carefully to understand her meaning not just words.

25.  Often, tell her you love her. Women value that much more than men do.
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Lord, thank You for this precious lady You gave me for my wife. Lord, help me to be a sensative understanding husband who listens to my wife with full attention and to put her needs before my own. I know that as I give her the love and attention she needs that I won't have to worry about losing her. Amen.

                               Questions in Choosing a Mate

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John and Judy fell in love. They thought about each other throughout the day; fantasized about good times together, felt excited and intimate in each other’s presence. They were a nice looking young couple, energetic, and fun loving. Everybody said, “They’re made for each other.” They flirt, and tease and laugh together. Yes, its love and love is all that matters. They could get married and live happily ever after. It’s a beautiful dream come true, or is it?

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This idea of falling in love is popular, but is it what makes for a fulfilling and lasting marriage? Many who felt so become disillusioned and wind up later in divorce courts. In Bible times and in some Eastern cultures today, parents or a matchmaker arrange their children’s marriage; they have little say about it. In Western cultures, people have the right to choose whom to marry and they live in a much more complex world. With an alarmingly high divorce rate, marital choices today don’t seem very wise. For this reason, many persons are choosing to live together without marriage to see if it works. 

Let’s ask some serious questions and honestly face the facts regarding this issue crucial to us all.

What Does the Bible say about Perspective Marriage Partners?

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The Bible doesn’t give a list of rules about a perspective marriage partner, just one. Christians are to marry within the faith (2 Cor. 6:14-16). But, that one rule includes all that the Bible teaches about how we are to live the faith to please God, be our best selves, and be the best marriage partner. Biblical Christian standards are mountains above what sinful human nature desires. People say, “I love ice cream, or I love my dog, or I love my spouse”. Love, in their thinking, is all about I, I, I, big ME, all about what gives me pleasure. Christian godly love is about self-giving or SELFLESS SERVICE TO OTHERS. God so loved the world that he gave. The New Century Version better conveys the idea of godly self-giving love.
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“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done. Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices over the truth. Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

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The popular belief about love can easily grow cold when the reality of human nature sets in. We all have our faults, limitations and make mistakes. Married couples get divorced with a 20% disapproval rating of their spouse only to find their new partner is 20% at fault as well. The grass looks smooth and green from a distance—seen up close it has weeds and bare spots. Love that is the real thing may not be a sudden “falling in love” but “a growing to love” over time. When we sacrifice ourselves and put others first, they usually tend to respond in kind. Even when we don’t feel loving, doing loving things leads to love.  

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The Bible says that if our spouse dies or is an unbeliever, it’s all right if divorced to marry again. Although God hates divorce and a hard heart, divine love both permits and forgives divorce (Mal. 2:16; Matt. 19:6-9; 1 Cor. 7:15). Christians can and do commit worse sins. I’m divorced and my second wife, also divorced, is a loving godly lady, friend, and one in a million. Thank God.

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There’s no rule that everyone has to marry. Some have the gift of singleness and are free to devote more time to God’s service. But if it’s difficult to be self-controlled, it’s better to marry than be overwhelmed with sexual tension and temptation (1 Cor. 7:7-9). Society blows sex way out of proportion since coitus usually constitutes less than 2% of a young couple’s relationship.

 .                 Where Can I Meet Perspective Marriage Partners?

As in everything, the Christian should seek God’s will regarding a mate. And God promises to guide us when we earnestly trust him and seek to do his will (Ps. 37:4, 23; Prov. 3:5-6; Rom. 12:1-2). So-called fun parties and activities that destroy our minds, bodies, character and get us in trouble such as tobacco, alcohol, drug, and sex parties are taboo for those who want to please the Lord. Never mind being called prudes, unsociable, or extremists, godly living won’t be regretted in later life and at the judgment. Parties among friends we can trust and activities such as bowling, swimming, boating, athletic games, concerts, school seminars, shopping centers, grocery stores, and bookstores can be places to meet others. And the local church where God’s people meet to worship is the most likely place to find persons with Christian faith. Dating services that require listing character traits and interests might work well but are no guarantees.

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To me the idea that there’s only one Mr. /Miss Right for me to marry seems naïve and creates unnecessary tension and fear. A lady told me she had three husbands who all died. But they all were good husbands and all were different. Don’t different persons bring out different qualities in us? Don’t we all change somewhat throughout life? Don’t we all have different friends that we like?

.                What Potential Problems Require My Serious Attention

I’m not saying that it can’t or won’t work out well. But some persons are risky, raise red flags, and a relationship with them may not be wise. I advise open careful consideration and honest discussions with them and with others who know their background. A prison record, bad temper,  big debt, a homosexual past, child abuse, alcoholism, drug abuse, multiple marriages, and so on are red flags. Such persons may require long-term psychological counseling and a recent proven track record or lifestyle.

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Wisdom heeds statistical data from decades of research. Persons from similar social classes, economic and social levels, occupations, age groups, race, religious backgrounds, and areas of residence have marriages that are more apt to be happy and lasting,

                                   What Characteristics Suggest a Good Partner

It’s said, opposites attract meaning one partner compensates for weaknesses in the other. This may be true initially but can later frustrate and smother the weaker spouse. For example, a big talker may drown a shy one and make them feel more insecure. Instead, the stronger should “cool it”, support, encourage, and praise the weaker for their efforts. 

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The Bible is clear that God instituted marriage for a man and woman (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:6). They are to be “one flesh.” That of course is compatibility, being designed for each other physically and emotionally. While the Bible patriarchs and kings had many wives that was not God’s ideal and it resulted in serious problems. Although laws of that time didn’t prohibit it, the New Testament makes it clear God’s servants are to set an example in having one wife (1 Tim. 3:2, 12). It is to be a covenant relationship like Christ with his church.   

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Compatibility is just good common sense. Our spouse can teach us new and exciting things and we can adjust to differences within limits. But radical divergences can be irritating and make for a bad relationship. Consider some examples: hot natured verses cold natured, outdoorsman v. homebody, free spender v. tight wad, activist v. couch potato, super clean v. disorderly, cultured dresser v. slob, intellectual v. ignorant.  

What Do My Prospective Partner and I Expect of Marriage? 

Commitment to a lasting marriage is imperative. The word divorce should never come up. To enter a marital relationship with the attitude that if it doesn’t work I’ll get a divorce is likely to end in divorce and disillusionment. The words, ‘Do you take this person in sickness and health, for better or worse, in richer or poorer, till death due you part?’ should be taken most seriously. Not just couples, but children and families suffer in divorce. We want and need the security of a trustworthy responsible spouse who will stand by us in hard times that are certain to occur. 

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Persons contemplating marriage naturally expect companionship, mutual support, and sexual expression. But a host of other issues calls for open honest discussion. How about children, how many and when? Can I pursue further education or a certain career? How do you like my family members? Can you accept my physical ailments? Would you be willing for my older widow/er parent to live with us? Is there a special place we want to live? Be honest: Is there something about me you have doubts about or disapprove? It’s better to resolve these issues now if possible than hope they won’t come up later.

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Maybe we can sum perspective Christian mate hunting up in three statements: Christ first in all things, compatibility is vital, and commitments are imperative. Happy hunting.

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            God’s Instructions to Christian Husbands

It’s often said, as goes the family, so goes the nation. The husband and father is the most influential person in most families. That’s the way God planned it. Godly families reflect our relationship between Christ and his church. There will be no marriage in heaven; we will be just one big--yes truly happy--family (Matt. 22:30).

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Perspective brides, what kind of man do you want for a husband? Married ladies, how can you encourage your husband to be the Christian man of God you admire and love? God helping me, I hope to shed some light on this crucial subject. The things I’m going to say will put us—including myself--to shame. Nobody can meet God’s standards. But we have to know what they are before we can even try to meet them.

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You won’t hear this at work, on TV, or among friends because God’s standards are far above the world’s standards. It’s God plan for what He wants a real Godly man to be. At best, all husbands fall short. Husbands aren’t supposed to just sit on their thrown and bark orders to their wife and kids. They are to reflect a Christ like spirit that honors King Jesus. Now what are God’s instructions in how Christian husbands are to treat their wife? Let’s see what God’s word instructs us.

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Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. Ephesians 5:25-30.

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Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7.

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In these two Bible passages, I want to point out five ways God instructs Christian husbands to treat their wife.

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God’s first instruct to husbands is love your wife.

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Husband, you may think you do love your wife. But what’s thought to be love today is not true biblical love. Love is used to mean anything today. I love sports. I love to fish. I love ice cream. You mean what those things do for you. They satisfy your desires and give you pleasure. But the love Paul is talking about here is sacrifice—Christ our example showed love by giving Himself for the church. That’s what God wants His true men to do for their wives.

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In a sense, we husbands are to be a savior to our wife, to give ourselves up for her even to the point of death. To please our Lord we must give up selfishness to become selfless considering her needs above our own. Some might say that’s being a wimp. No that’s the test of manhood from God’s perspective. In our sinful nature, we want to have everybody serve us and bow before us as king of the realm. We think she’s to meet my needs with never a thought about her needs. And if she doesn’t get everything just right, we pounce on her like a whipped dog. That’s not loving as Christ loved. Instead of being Mr. Fix, try understanding, encouraging and working with her, we want to run away from her problems—we tend to forget she’s human too.

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The truly loving husband says, “If our marriage ends, you will have to leave me, I’m not going anywhere. I’m glued to you no matter what comes—good, bad, or ugly—because we’re God’s people determined to honor our Lord, our marriage vows, and each other.

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Like King Jesus, husbands are to sanctify their wives, to set them apart as special having no spot or wrinkle. Now when a man marries a woman, he marries her history and her family together with the good parts and the bad parts. Things were ideal during dating. He didn’t see her without makeup, or know she could get upset and fuss, or had certain faults he never imagined. Maybe she had an abusive father, or dominating mother. Over time, little resentments build up and clog a marriage. Spots are outside pressures; wrinkles have to do with aging and our losing that agility of being able to adapt. This means husbands have to work to cleanse their wife, not through harsh criticism or abuse but through understanding, encouraging, giving his strength to protect and provide for her weakness. It takes real manly leadership to be like the Lord Jesus at such times.

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Next, God tells husbands to live with your wife.

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You say, of course I already do. We stay in the same house.” Peter said live in an understanding way (1 Peter 3:7). Too many husbands think my work is outside the house and hers is inside the home. But many wives today work outside the home as well as inside. Fairness in such cases requires husbands do housework as well. Tired wives are relieved when husbands help by washing the dishes, cleaning, cooking, taking out the trash, doing the laundry. Yes, a paycheck, house and car are necessary, but so is time spent together working, sharing and discussing things of mutual concern.

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Third, God exhorts husbands to know their wife.

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Two things are necessary here: To know your Bible to understand God’s instructions and to know your wife to be able to help her. Both the Bible (2 Peter 3:16) and women are hard to understand and require continued study. A woman’s complexity is confusing to men. You think she wants this when she really wants that. Women carry a full pocketbook, men a little billfold. On a brief trip from home, men grab up a few essentials, women want several suitcases. And women have their monthly cycle that requires special patience and understanding.

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Women need to talk. To know your wife you need to give her eyeball-to-eyeball attention. Women talk is not always interesting to men. And women are usually indirect making it hard to know exactly what they’re trying to say. When that’s the case, ask her to explain further and show genuine interest. Women are more open with their fears, cares, hopes, disappointments and joys. Paying close attention makes them feel loved and to respond with love.

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Fourth, God wants husbands to honor their wife.

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Honor means to assign her a place of honor, treat her as a queen, not just another woman. Make her feel special, roll out the red carpet. Open doors for her. Write her notes of appreciation telling her all the special qualities she has. Call her during the day saying you’re looking forward to being with her this evening. Call her sweet names—honey, precious, darling, sweaty pie. Give her gifts not just on birthdays and anniversaries but anytime for no particular except that you love her. When chivalry dies, your marriage will start to die—romance is gone.

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Remember when you first starting dating, you couldn’t do enough for her. You couldn’t keep your eyes off her. You lighted up when she came into the room. What happened? Start dating again. Do special things for your queen you know she enjoys. Say honey, I’ve planned a special time out this evening to a place I know you’ll really enjoy. Show respect for her ideas and opinions. And if you have to correct some fault, first praise her good traits and skills and then speak calmly and reassuringly so she knows you still value her highly. When you disagree, still listen to her ideas and opinions and let her know you will be responsible if something goes wrong. Of course, all this is not easy. But it’s the way to show her how significant she is in your life, how special she is to you.   

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The fifth instruction is that God expects us husbands to pray with our wife. 

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God’s apostle Peter’s final word is to pray together as heirs of the grace of life that your prayers be unhindered. If the two of you don’t have a heavenly foundation, you’ll wind up with a hellish relationship. Together husband and wife become one flesh as God intended and are heirs of God’s grace or favor. God is the biggest force there is to guide, provide and protect your home. Bible study and prayer makes marriage more than just two bodies together. It then becomes a spiritual union with our Maker, Savior and Judge. Only then can we fulfill the purpose for which we were made. Husband, you are the spiritual thermostat in your marriage—you control the temperature whether hot or cold. Your wife is the thermometer—she tells you how it reads. It’s a serious but fulfilling responsibility to be a man of God rightly governing his home. May we find it true in our lives.
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Christian husbands, God's Word has told us what our Lord requires of us. If we want God blessed homes, we better listen carefully and do what our Lord says. God know how things work out a lot better than we do. Won't you commit to trust God's way and try to follow His will today? 

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For much sound Bible exposition, I’m indebted to Dr. Tony Evans book: What A Way To Live. Dr. Evans has a clear arresting style, profound insights, and practical applications. I also recommend his other books such as Our God Is Awesome and What Matters Most.

 

Unbelief’s Assault upon Christians and their Beliefs

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Unbelievers’ often show misunderstanding and hostility toward Christian beliefs. Jews condemned the first Christians for not keeping Moses’ laws that they couldn’t keep themselves. Polytheists accused early Christians of being atheists because they didn’t believe in many gods. Romans said Christians were disloyal to the Roman Empire because they didn’t acknowledge Caesar as a God. Pagans thought Christian’s cannibals since they ate the body of Jesus and drank his blood—Lord’s Supper. Unbelievers called Christians fanatics, holy Joe's, hypocrites, Puritans and prudes all the while I grew up. Today they say far worse things.

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It seems our human nature just doesn’t like anyone including God telling us what we should and shouldn’t do. It’s been forever true since Adam and Eve enjoyed paradise with all their needs met but couldn’t resist eating the only one forbidden fruit knowing it meant death. Just as the sign says WET PAINT, we must touch it anyway to find out. It doesn’t matter even if it’s for our good, or it could cause us harm, injury, sickness, disease or death. It’s utterly irrational and contradictory but true. Let’s look at some of the more recent condemnatory words people call true believers in Christ as Lord and Savior.

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SELF-RIGHTEOUS. Although sometimes called self-righteous, the one thing a true Christian can never be is self-righteous--that would condemn him to Hell. According to the Bible, we can’t save ourselves by being good or doing good deeds before God. The Bible says we’re rebellious sinners unacceptable to a holy or perfect God and unfit for a perfect or sinless Heaven.

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“The righteousness of God (is) through faith in Jesus Christ . . . for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” Rom. 3:22-23. "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace which He made to abound toward us" Eph. 1:7.

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The flaw with self-righteousness is that it’s our sinful pride and not God-righteousness. God and Heaven are not JUST GOOD—they’re 100% PERFECT all the time, but we’re not even close.

“You shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Matthew 5:48.

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“There shall by no means enter it (Heaven) anything that defiles, or causes an abomination or a lie.” Revelation.21:27. See also Romans 1; Rev. 21:8; First Corinthians. 6:9-10

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People universally believe we must be “good people” to be accepted by a “good God” and enter a “good Heaven”. So we must strive to be as good as we possibly can and hope we’re good enough. And we tend to find persons we think not as good as we are and feel proud that we’re better than they are. It seems so logical to think that way so everybody does. Ask anyone why God should let them into His Heaven and usually they say because of their good deeds. We never like to parade our imperfections when we think we should be good. But honest persons know they’re not perfect by anyone’s standards even our own.

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Now if God will accept tipping the scale to 51% of goodness to enter Heaven, then God is imperfect and allows Heaven to be corrupted with sin. How can we hope for salvation from an imperfect God and a corrupt Heaven?  Heaven will become as corrupt as earth or more so since we then know there can be nothing better.

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Any God imperfect in power, knowledge, wisdom, or goodness can never be trusted to save us and keep us. And only the Bible’s God is said to be perfect in all these respects. God’s way then is trusting Christ alone as Lord and Savior dying to pay for our sins and raised from the dead—that shows His perfect love and justice, so He’s our righteousness. No other world religion or alleged God can make such tremendous claims.

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NEGATIVE. Christians are told never be negative and that being positive wins friends and influences people. Negative statements make people feel guilty, insulted, rejected and discouraged. And insulted people may call us arrogant, self-righteous, mean spirited, and even unchristian.

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The problem here is that we can never tell anyone his or her deeds are wrong, harmful or have boundaries—that’s negative. But God’s Word says numerous acts are wrong or sin such as in the Ten Commandments, the Sermon of the Mount and numerous other lists of sins. And those who criticize still believe in laws, restrictions, limits on the things we do. Indeed, how can we even live together in community unless we impose restraints on harmful activities? Consistency would require we do away not just with preachers, but also teachers, politicians, judges, police, lawyers, doctors, guidance counselors, traffic signals. It would result in a state of lawlessness, chaos and destruction. It’s only in issues of Christ and Bible ethics, however, that unbelievers want to shut us up.  Do we understand what’s better for us than the all-knowing loving God who made us? God isn’t out to spoil our fun but to protect and provide us a better life (John 10:10).

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JUDGMENTAL. Christians are told not to be judgmental. Matthew 7:1-2 is quoted to substantiate this. This raises the same impossible problem of being negative as shown above. Further, the objector misinterprets the Matthew passage. It’s not condemning all judgment but unjust hypocritical judgment. In other words, the metaphor saying get the plank out of your own eye before removing the speck from another’s eye. Finally, the critic is himself judging the person he criticizes for judging. What would you call that?

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INTOLERANT. Christians who don’t accept whatever I want to believe and do are intolerant. As some atheists and pantheists will admit, if we deny the infinite personal ethical God of the Bible--anything goes. It leaves us subject to the limited, fickle, faulty, feelings and whims of our selfish, rebellious, depraved human natures.
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 Without the Bible’s God, nothing is ultimately right or wrong, good or evil, true or false. It’s just what each person wants to believe. Even then, we have to suppress our conscience or sense of right and wrong. Natural law or universal common sense teaches we can’t survive long on this planet without moral standards to guide us.
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Morality doesn’t make practical sense without a higher authority to hold us accountable after death. Our own hostile destructive desires destroy us. But God’s way is love, truth and salvation. Christianity says we’re responsible creations in God’s image; otherwise, we’re only perishing animals fighting for temporary survival (naturalism) or recycled energy waiting absorption (pantheism).

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EXCLUSIVE. Non-Christians resent Christians for saying Jesus is the only true and right religion. They feel slighted and think their religion is just as good for them if not better than Christianity. They claim Christians are arrogant, narrow-minded bigots.

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While it seems this charge is only made against Christians, the truth is it can be made against anyone who truly believes his or her religion is the only true and right way. Even to say all religions are equally good and essentially the same is an exclusivist claim.  It has to deny, undermine, or ignore the particular tenants of each individual religion. Different religions claim one God, two gods, many gods, no god, or the universe is god.  So how is that essentially the same? It’s a contradiction and a lie. Honesty and truth forbid such a claim.

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The crucial questions are these: Which if any religion gives visible empirical evidence its true. And which religion if any meets our most basic human needs. Biblical Christianity revealed in Jesus Christ, the incarnate God-man, visibly demonstrated God is real and loves us, life exists after death, and we are accountable to God for every thought, word and deed. Jesus provided the only basis for human dignity in God’s image. That further provides freedom, human rights, a standard of ethics, a purposeful life serving Him, opportunity of Heaven, and a better world in the here and now. No other religion can give such evidence nor meet these basic human needs. To reject the Lord Jesus as Savior is to choose Hell--period.

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I blame us Christians in large part for not courageously standing up and explaining our beliefs in a gentle, respectful and caring way to unbelievers. Even our churches taught for so long not to create waves, upset anyone or be forthright. Don’t argue was confused with calmly giving logical factual reasons for what we believe. So we’ve allowed falsehood and evil to overcome us. But enough is enough. The Bible’s gospel is our world’s only hope and salvation but its truth is upsetting to the pride and sin of man.

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Christians, don’t be intimidated by the accusations and hateful criticisms of unbelievers. Shout salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ from the housetops. Don’t be ashamed of the most precious love, hope, blessings, and righteousness we alone have in Christ. Give your life for Christ as He gave His for us. Be gracious, respectful, and loving as God tells us in First Peter 3:14-18. But tell people Jesus is humanities only hope for He alone can cleanse our hearts and lives of moral impurity, make us right with a perfect God, and assure us of a perfect Heaven.
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The risk of unbelief is too great. My friend, won't you committe to Jesus? Say with all your being, Lord Jesus, I've been wrong and a sinner. Now I'm trusting You as my Lord and Savior for now until I stand before You as Your follower. Thank You my Lord. Now you have a story to tell everywhere to everybody.

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This joyful hymn by H. Ernest Nichol conveys our Lord’s command and our Christian compassion and commitment.

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We’ve a story to tell to the nations, that shall turn their hearts to the right,

A story of truth and mercy, a story of peace and light, a story of peace and light.

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We’ve a song to be sung to the nations, that shall lift their hearts to the Lord,

A song that shall conquer evil, and shatter the spear and sword, and shatter the spear and sword.

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We’ve a message to give to the nations, that the Lord who reigneth above hath sent us His Son to save us, and show us that God is love, and show us that God is love.

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We’ve a Savior to show to the nations, Who the path of sorrow hath trod, that all of the world’s great peoples may come to the truth of God, may come to the truth of God.

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Refrain

For the darkness shall turn to dawning, and the dawning to noonday bright,

And Christ’s great kingdom shall come on earth, the kingdom of love and light. Amen-(so be it).

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                 What Is Biblical Christian Salvation?

#Salvation
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What does the Bible teach about salvation? Must we be good persons and do good deeds to earn God’s acceptance and Heaven? How good do you have to be? Can we become morally perfect? What is the Christian life like or supposed to be? Is being a Christian keeping a set of rules? If I become a Christian, can I lose faith and go to Hell? What is Heaven like? These and other important questions I will answer in three biblical words--justification, santification, glorification.

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Justification—Counted Just, Accepted and Forgiven from All Our Guilt and the Penalty of Sin

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The only purgatory taught in the Bible is that the Lord Jesus purged all our sins on the cross. If Jesus is not a full and sufficient Savior, he’s no Savior at all. If we depend even 1% upon our good deeds, we deny Jesus alone is the Savior of sinners. We never become morally perfect, or sinless in this life, but God cleans us up inside the moment we put faith in the Savior. Peter the chief apostle, called the first pope, says so most clearly several times.

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“Redeemed . . . with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot . . . so that your faith and hope are in God (1 Pet. 1:18-21). Who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we; having died to sins, might live for righteousness (1 Pet. 2:24). Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh (1 Pet. 1:18).” Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved (Acts 16:31).

Peter says it’s all about what Christ did, not what we try to do no matter how good..
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The apostle Paul agrees in many passages that we’re morally weak, enemies of God, under God’s wrath and cannot keep God’s moral laws—613 in O.T. and 650 in N.T. We can’t even know them, much less keep them. So it’s only through Jesus’ death of the just for the unjust that we’re counted right with God. It’s Christ’s righteousness, not ours that God counts us right as a legal transaction. See Romans 4:1-8; 5:6-9; 7:18-19; 8:1-8; 11:6; 2 Cor. 5:19.
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Humanity, before God, is corrupt in every part of our being—conscience, thought, feelings, will. But God is morally perfect so that apart from Christ we’re unacceptable to a perfect God and unfit for a perfect Heaven. Once saved by grace through faith in Christ, God enables us to do good works acceptable to him that will be rewarded in Heaven (Ephesians 2:8-10; Revelation 22:12).
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Sanctification—Progressive Deliverance from the Power of Sin
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The act of faith in Christ sets us apart for God’s service; no church makes us saints. Paul calls those in Christ saints, even those in the low moral Corinthian church (1 Cor. 1:2). But we then progress or grow in our love-trust relationship with Christ. We are to become more like Jesus our example--holy, mature, complete. Becoming a Christian makes us new creations (2 Cor. 5:17), and born of the Holy Spirit (John 3:7), but we still are human beings with human limitations, faults, failures and sins. This is why people sometimes think more highly of non-Christians of a better background. We never become perfect until glorified--those who think they do, need to check out what the Bible says about sin (Rom. 1) and forgiveness (1 John 1:8-10).

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The Christian will always struggle to achieve victory over the world (1 John 5:4), the flesh (Romans 7:24-25), the devil (James 4:7; Ephesians 6:10-12). Romans chapter 6 tells us how to have victory. We will be slaves either to sin or to God. So we are to consider ourselves in Christ as dead to sin and to yield ourselves to God as his slaves.We are to continually focus on Christ and his love.
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It is a super difficult unending struggle and we will have setbacks. But it is possible with our daily yielding to the Lord and with humble confession and cleansing. Christians can be free from gossip, pride, alcohol, tobacco, drugs, idolatry, gambling, ungodly sex (1 John 4:4; 5:4-5). God can forgive all sins, except rejection of God in Christ (Mark 3:28-29; John 16:8-10; 1 John 2:22-23).

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Is God a killjoy imposing numerous rules to spoil our fun? Children see much that parents forbid as their being mean and spoiling their fun. They don’t understand parents forbid things to protect their safety and instruct them in wise behavior. Teens think smoking, partying in drugs, alcohol, sex and the like shows they’re mature and makes them popular. It’s momentary pleasure that brings long-term pain and slavery. Our wise Creator and loving Savior wants to save us from unnecessary harm. We regard his rules burdensome when we fail to understand and to respond to him in a love-trust relationship. Jesus said our love for him is shown in our obedience. “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3). Jesus summed all God’s laws as simply love for God and love for man (Matt. 22:37-39).   
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What are the aids to spiritual growth in our love-trust relationship with our Lord? Diligent study of God’s Word is vital. We must know God’s will in order to do it (2 Tim. 3:16-17; 1 Thess. 2:13). Prayer according to God’s will in all its aspects—confession, thanksgiving, praise, intercession, petition, (Eph. 6:18; James 5:16). Fellowship with other believers in the body of Christ helps and encourages us (Heb. 10:24-25). Boldly and lovingly sharing our faith in the Lord and Savior is the best thing we can do for others (Acts 1:8; 2 Cor. 5:18).

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Can persons who trust in the Savior finally be lost? I graciously respect a person’s right to differ, but Scripture is definite and clear that God keeps true believers in faith. John 5:24 couldn’t be clearer that at the moment of faith one receives unending life and will never be condemned. Salvation is God’s gift we can’t earn and God can’t take back (Eph. 2:8-9; Rom. 11:29). Jesus is with us always (Jn. 28:20). We can never perish or anyone take us from God’s hand (Jn. 10: 28-29) and nothing can separate us from God’s love (Rom. 8:35-38).
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We’re born from above once--not repeatedly--and sealed with the Holy Spirit who guarantees our redemption (Jn. 3:7; Rom. 8:16; Eph. 1:13-14). From our calling to glorification is all one inseparable package (Rom. 8:28-30). Doesn’t wisdom dictate we accept clear definite passages over unclear and ambiguous ones that are better explained as applying to other situations? And those who fall away John says were never true believers in the first place (1 John 2:19). Some profess Christ who don’t possess him or have only a head-knowledge.

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But doesn’t security in Christ encourage immorality? Paul says no and that we’re slaves either to sin or to God depending on whom we present ourselves to obey (Rom. 6). Sinning causes us to lose heavenly rewards (1 Cor. 3:10-15). Sinning causes us to be disciplined of the Lord as his true children even to the point of physical death (Heb. 12:5-11; 1 Cor. 11:29-30). Sinning causes us to lose the peace, love, joy and fruit we show in relationship with the Lord (John 15; 1-11; Gal. 5:16-25).  All these statements seem definite and clear to me.

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Glorification—Given a New Body, Home and Saved from the Presence of Sin

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We naturally have many questions Scripture doesn’t answer and mentions details whose meaning is uncertain. But Christians are not as those who have no hope (soulless dirt, recycled energy, or demon worshipers). “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed to us . . . the sons of God (Romans 8:18-19).”

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Heaven is a real place, not just a state of mind. Jesus said he would go to prepare a place for believers in him (John 12:1-2; 1 John 2:22-23). Let’s look at a list of things no longer present in the new Heaven and earth and another list of things that will be present. See 1 Cor. 15; Rev. 21; 22; Luke 20:35-36; 1 John 3:2.

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In the new Heaven and earth there will be no sin, curse, sun, moon, night, oceans, tears, sorrow, pain, death, marriage, imperfection. Apparently the whole universe and earth will be renovated (2 Peter 3:12-13; Rev. 21-22).

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But in the new Heaven and earth there will be places Jesus prepared for believers, new bodies, everlasting service, a tree of life, river of life, overflowing joy, reunion with saved loved ones and friends, a place of indescribable beauty, rest from life’s struggles, love, rewards, angels, the Trinity, seeing God face-to-face, worship, and perfect knowledge. Certainly, a Creator who is all-loving, knowing, wise, powerful and desires that people be saved from sin and Hell can provide a Heaven for those who trust in him.

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Further Questions about Heaven
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Doesn’t Matthew 7:13-14 seem to say few persons will be in Heaven? Jesus may be referring to conditions of the world at that time. The gospel was then unknown. Many families have babies and young children who die but go to Heaven. If there will be a literal millennium, there could be billions of saved persons. See Rev. 7:9; 20:1-6. Certainly the dimensions given of the new Heaven and earth make plenty of room for billions of persons. And God is glorified in our loving trust in Him.

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Will everyone be equally blessed? Fully blessed but not equally blessed. Persons who loved and served the Lord more will enjoy him more. See 1Cor. 3:11-15; 2 Cor. 5:10. Our cups will be full but apparently come in different sizes so to speak. John 10:10.

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Is the Christian Heaven like the Paradise of Islam? Serious contrasts exist between the two.  (1) The Christian God and Allah is not the same God so doesn’t provide the same Paradise. Christians believe God is one essence revealed in three Persons who can address each other as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. That’s blasphemy with Allah. (2) The Bible’s God is morally perfect allowing no sin into Heaven. But Allah allows persons into his paradise who do more good deeds than evil deeds—imagine what his Paradise will become. (3) The Bible God has love for sinners even giving his human life to save them while Allah is a remote Lawgiver too good to mix with sinners and even hates them. (4) The Bible’s Heaven is mainly perfect relationships with God and man while Allah’s Paradise is sensual delight of drink, food, and sex of many women for each man. (5) The Bible's God assures us of Heaven, Allah assures no one of paradise unless perhaps Muslims die killing unbelievers.  

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Why Should We Believe Jesus Is the Only Way to Heaven? Unlike other religions, Jesus claimed to be God and fulfilled ancient detailed prophecies of the Jew’s Messiah predicted to be God (Isa. 7:14; 9:6; 53; Micah 5:2; Psalm16:10). Unlike other religions, also Jesus proved the claims true. He walked on water, immediately healed various diseases, and raised the dead. What greater proofs of God can there be? Bible miracles were recorded not by adoring disciples centuries later as in other religions but by martyrs within a few decades.

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Isn’t salvation in Christ the best thing that can happen to us, and telling others the best thing we can do for others? Now if you have not put trust in the Savior of us sinners, the God-man, humbly pray: Lord, I trust YOU now and forever as paying for all my sins on the cross to make me clean, forgiven, holy in your sight. Help me now Lord to live for you untill I go to be with you in Heaven. Thank you Lord. 
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Christian brother/sister now pray and trust God to use you as His GOOD NEWS MESSENGER over the WWW. Download these articles and send them worldwide and in other languages. Show the devil, and the evil world you are God's person with new life. God bless.

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For Christian growth I recommend for English speakers the outstanding Life Application Study Bible large print with itrs New Living Translation. And for pastors Warren W. Wiersbe’s The Bible Exposition Commentary.

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Isn’t Religion A Private Matter?

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Why are people not more concerned about the crucial things of life? Not who won the ball game? What good movie have you seen lately? Should I ask Susan for a date? But questions vital to life now and maybe a thousand years from now: Is death our end? Did Muhammad give objective evidence honest thinking people can believe that the Qur'an is from God? Are Mormons correct that people can become Gods? Were Jehovah Witnesses correct to give five dates claiming Christ came back to earth? If we’re just evolving animals that perish, what’s wrong with killing dangerous people who disagree with us, especially when we’re in control or won’t get caught? Is it true that we can’t know truth?

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It seems if people really believe salvation in Christ, they would want to share the gospel with persons destined for Hell.

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Worldly influence has caused many persons to regarded religion as a private matter. Some church members wouldn’t think of sharing Christ with friends and loved ones. This opposes the great commission and all Christ and the Bible teaches. Do they have good reasons, or just disobedient rebellious excuses? Here is a list of explanations.

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·        Church members may not be Christians. Possibly the biggest reason church members never tell others about God’s salvation in Christ is that they’ve unsaved or simply not Christians. Churches don’t give lie detector tests to everyone who wants to join a church. Persons may join for many reasons other than faith in Christ. Some want to sing in the choir, play on the ball team, socialize with friends, or make business clients. Sometimes even pastors and missionaries realize they’ve unsaved. And liberal churches don’t claim to believe all the Bible teaches.

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·        Unsaved church members that have only head knowledge or intellectual belief. One can believe in God, believe Jesus is God, agree Jesus is the Savior of sinners, but go to Hell. The devil and his demons know all that. Without the transformation Jesus called the new birth or being born from above, persons cannot enter the kingdom of God (John 3:7).  Non-Christians view them as hypocrites and they are right.

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Regeneration is God’s Holy Spirit within transforming us to have new spiritual life, new holy desires, a completely new worldview or outlook on life (2 Cor. 5:17-18). And to grow spiritually, our new life grows through worship, Bible study, and fellowship with believers and witnessing to Christ as Lord and Savior.      
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·        They fear ridicule. Jesus warned Godly living will result in persecution as they killed God’s prophets and apostles. But your courageous witness will strengthen other believers. And great is your eternal reward. We can grow to be courageous witnesses if we’re willing. God tests us whether we put Him first in our life or self. We live here only a few decades; Heaven is eternal. Our faithfulness will win others to Christ and cover multitudes of sins (James 5:20). Our behavior brings eternal gain or shameful loss of rewards at the judgment seat of Christ (1 Corinthians. 3:10-15).

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·        Serious sin in one’s life hinders witness. We’ll never be perfect in this life. But we can live holy lives that please the Lord. Though Christ paid for all our sins past, present, future, we still fail him every day. He knows this and promises us continued forgiveness and fellowship through honest daily confession (1 John 1:7-10).

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·        It is the pastor’s job. It’s every true Christians’ job. If the Lord’s orders to make disciples  of all nations meant only the first eleven disciples they could never have reached the  world nor lived to the end of the age (Matt. 20:20-21: Acts 1:8; 8:4). Christians have  influence and contact with persons their pastor and spiritual leaders will never see. Christians have the ministry of reconciliation. Do we not care that our loved ones never hear the good news of Christ. The Bible is plain that unsaved persons spend eternity in  the darkness and torment of Hell. Persons who win others are wise (Prov. 11:30).

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·        I witness by my life. Yes, we are to be the light of the world, salt of the earth, and a city on a hill. But no matter how good we live, if we never tell anyone about the Savior, then they may never know. It’s inexcusable disobedience to our Lord’s command. It’s a joy we deny ourselves not to seek the salvation of the lost.

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·        We can’t force religion on anyone. Hate religions and philosophies (politically correct) do intimidate and force outward observances but not a yielded heart. They demand blind obedience and enforce it by ridicule, threats, persecution, imprisonment, torture and murder. But that’s not God’s way. His way is friendship, respect, concern.

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·        Jesus is truth and love. He invites us to put our burdens on him who cares for us. The Bible is clear Christians are not to give offense (1 Cor. 10:32; 2 Cor. 6:3). But it is equally clear we are to be ready to give a defense of our faith at all times with respectful concern (1 Pet. 3:15; Acts 1:3; Phil. 1:16; Jude 3).

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            One good way I’ve found to avoid conflict is first make a friend. Then ask the question: May I share with you--the good news about someone who loves us? Or, the best friend I know? Or, the opportunity of a lifetime? Or, how to get to Heaven?

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            Prayerfully trust God’s Spirit and share only when they answer affirmatively. Then graciously explain the Bible verses: Romans 5:8; 3:23; 6:23; 10:9-10. Then ask your friend if you could lead him or her in prayer to receive God’s gift of eternal life. Carry a pocket New Testament with these passages underlined and some gospel tracts.

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·        I don’t have time. Yes, we live busy lives but talk to people every day by phone, WWW, and everywhere we go. It’s just a matter of obedience. When we face Jesus, or in a century from now, the only thing that will matter is whether we spent time serving the Lord. What are your priorities?

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We are also to expose false religions and philosophies that align themselves against God (Deut. 13:1-4; 2 Cor. 10:3-5). We should contend without being contentious, give reasons without being argumentative, and show respect and understanding. Humbly admit we’re sinners too, knowing persons don’t like to admit sin (1 John 1:8-10). But unless persons acknowledge their sin, they won’t see any need for a Savior.

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These alleged reasons are rebellious, disobedient excuses. Keeping Christ’s word shows, we are in Him and love Him, especially when it requires study, prayer, concern and time (1 John 2:5). Join me as a GOOD NEWS MESSENGER sending these articles to others over the internet. Only one life and it will soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last.

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