By the Numbers

Friday, March 18, 2011

Love Your Wife Her Way

Love Your Wife Her Way

We know women are more emotional and sensitive than men. Husbands may think and feel they love their wives and meet their needs. But they often don’t understand women have different needs and viewpoints than themselves. One man was enthusiastic about a pool table he bought his wife for Christmas. He saw it as a way they could get exercise and be intimate together. Not surprising, his wife didn’t share his enthusiasm or view his gift his way. Counselors know that in troubled marriages insensitive husbands are more likely to be the problem
The Bible tells husbands to honor their wives but doesn’t describe all the ways to do it (1 Peter 3:7). Outstanding marriage counselor of several decades, Dr. Gary Smalley, has helped unite broken marriages. All his books give super good advice I highly recommend. His book The Joy of Committed Love lists 100 ways for husbands to show wives love, understanding and honor their way. I’ve chosen 25 of them written in a different order and slightly modified form. Husbands choose two or three to practice each month and see your marriage blossom.
1.  Regard your wife as more important than you are and see her blossom.
2.  Ask her opinion frequently and show appreciation. Wives’ intuition has prevented              husbands from making serious and costly mistakes.
3.  Give loving hugs when she’s down emotionally without lectures or put-downs.
4.  Take an interest in what she feels important in life—she has a right to her interests and       needs to share them with you.
5.  Look for things about her you can genuinely compliment.
6.  Allow her to buy things she considers necessary.
7.  Be forgiving when she offends you. We’re none perfect but Jesus.
8.  Admit your mistakes. Be honest, humble, and sensitive and she will respect you more.
9.  Lead your family in prayer, worship, Bible study and spiritual things.
10.  Do something special for her on her birthday and your wedding anniversary.
11.  Do things together the whole family enjoys—fun times with family is crucial.
12.  Hold hands when sitting or walking together--it makes her feel secure.
13.  Write her a note or letter of appreciation occasionally.
14.  Discipline your children in love not anger—they are part of you.
15.  Never, mention her faults to others—instead brag about her virtues.
16.  Husbands can change annoying habits within 30-60 days of determined effort.
17.  Surprise her occasionally with a card, flowers, candy or some gift you know she enjoys.
18.  Help her with the house cleaning especially if she works out. It’s just being fair.
19.  Learn to enjoy things she enjoys.
20.  Be hospitable and gracious to her relations and friends.
21.  Pray for her well-being and that you will understand and do all you can to promote it.
22.  Help her finish her goals—hobbies or education.
23.  Gently assure her of your love before correcting a serious fault.
24.  Talk is important to women. Listen carefully to understand her meaning not just words.
25.  Often, tell her you love her. Women value that much more than men do.
Lord, thank You for this precious lady You gave me for my wife. Lord, help me to be a sensative understanding husband who listens to my wife with full attention and to put her needs before my own. I know that as I give her the love and attention she needs that I won't have to worry about losing her. Amen.

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